My Best Friend Lied to Me. Anxiety and Choosing Jesus.

My very best friend in the whole wide world lied to me. We started being friends at age 12, how is this fair?  This was 5 years ago. I should be over it. In fact, I did forgive her, but I did not forget. It haunts me. It figures into my daily life, it scatters across my thoughts and decisions like a "for-get-me-knot," that is blown into the wind and flutters across the empty field.

I'm not sure why I even bring this up. It's embarrassing to me that I even still yet let it effect me in any way. But I try to brutally honest on my blog. It is a journal, of sorts, about me after all.

I wonder if this "insecurity," for lack of better terms, is playing into my anxiety these days. I hate that it just might be. I hate that, "it," being the hurt that I have endured, would have any power what-so-ever in my life, at all.

Unfortunately, it all is so very attractive to the devil. He prays on my insecurities, he loves them, he loves to call me out and uses the lies, uses the anxiety. I hate him for that. I almost hate myself for letting him do that.

So what will I do. I will call on Jesus.

The devil tells you: "You're a failure! Look at your past!"

God's Word tells you: "What past? The blood of Jesus has washed it away!"

I choose Jesus!

Anxiety tries to overwhelm us with a multitude of worrisome thoughts and fill us with anxious doubts. Someone has defined worry, very accurately, I think, as meditating on the evil lies of the devil. The enemy comes and whispers small things into our ears to consume our thoughts and get us into fear. If we let ourselves meditate on them, we give life to them. I need to stop giving control to the devil.

Faith Builders:

The devil has a lot of what ifs, but why should we even listen to them? “For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). The devil brings us a multitude of anxious thoughts, but God brings us His comforts: power, love and a sound mind. “Power” is the miracle-working dunamis of God. “Love” is the faithful agape of God. A “sound mind” is stable and disciplined, giving no place to worry and doubt. In short, the spirit of power, love and sound mind is the Holy Spirit.

I choose God's comfort: power, love and a sound mind.

I will sleep better tonight.