I have been stupendously humbled. I've been speechless and numb all day. I forgot to serve greens with our bible study dinner, I burned the fancy Italian crusted bread. I couldn't think straight. I was on automatic. The diagnosis came quickly, almost without warning, at least for me. My family still sits in silence and in waiting, it's quiet around here, around the house, almost as if waiting to hear what the next step is, literally. How do we respond, how do we react, what do we do now...we just don't know. This is uncharted territory. How do I guide my kids, when I don't even know. My husband feels the same.
We pray. I pray... I personally- fell to my knees. It has only happened a few times. I don't like to advertise, but I must be brutally honest about how the Lord humbles me. This time it was as if my knees were pushed from behind and my only reaction was to land listlessly and powerlessly to the ground, NO, I landed listlessly to the Lord, in my unclean bathroom, I started praying, "Why? and I ask, what shall I do, What should I say? I feel powerless.
Guide me; my only request. Guide me, use me, Lord.
This family took us in. We started home schooling 10 years ago. The young boy, only 1 year older than my young, shy son, came to him, befriended him, didn't judge him once, only accepted him, we'll never forget, I'll never forget. My son will never forget.
This family still teaches us, as they go through these hard to understand tribulations, we actually are still; learning from them. Amazing. Thank you, Lord; for them. Your plan is hard to understand. But thank you, because I trust you.
We've drifted since then. But my family has always remembered this family's unconditional love. The love that Jesus calls for, insists upon and preaches about. That kind of love. I pray you know of it.
I continue to stand speechless. I wait for the Lord to guide me.
I pray for this family and I thank them at the same time.
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