Everyone Should Have Two Lobsters/A plethora of nonsensicle information about my weekend trip to Auntie Joans

Just a simple- quick jaunt to Florida last weekend to see my aunt!.....?? THAT WAS the plan. BUT NOT WHAT HAPPENED. Read further only if you are  interested in how I got through the travel ALIVE, won the confrontation with a rather large lizard and "planked" through-out the weekend with my 69 yr. old mother and my sister.

PLANKING. The lying down game (also known as planking,^[1] or face downs) is an activity, popular in various parts of the world, consisting of lying face down in an unusual or incongruous location. The hands must touch the sides of the body, and having a photograph of the participant taken and posted on the Internet is an integral part of the game.^[2] Players compete to find the most unusual and original location in which to play.^[2] The location should also be as public as possible, and as many people as possible should be involved.^[3]

It all started at 8:30 am Friday morning when I was dropped off at the airport, so kindly, by my eldest daughter. We shared a rather thick cup of black airport coffee and good conversation then kisses goodbye. "Have a great trip, mommy!" she said. What she should have said was, "Hold on to your horses, mommy, your faith, your patience and your physical endurance will be challenged!" Love you!!

I happily sprinted (because I was going to get to READ a lot this weekend!) to the airplane, AirTran I will say, to find out quickly-that it had been delayed. But, no worries, only for 1/2 hour. After 3 more announcements it was clear that the plane was not even coming. Not only did it have mechanical problems but apparently the bathrooms on the aircraft blew up as well. I was willing to die, but no way was I going to HOLD it for 2 hours! So, PLEASE, fix the latrines!

Well, praise the Lord, He knew the plan, so He gifted me ahead of time with my friend Joel Schnoors' newly released book, "Off Balance, Getting Back Up When Life Knocks You Down."

What is your nemesis? What are you fighting? Everybody has something ... an illness, a relationship, a bad employment situation. Where do you find joy in the midst of all this?

God's promises are real, not metaphorical. Give us this day our daily bread ... I don't care if it's whole wheat or rye or pumpernickel or white bread. I don't care if it's in an oblong or a round loaf, sliced or not. I know that God is going to see me through this.

www.gennesaretpress.com

I would highly recommend that, as soon as you write a great comment about this post and share it with your friends, that you order his book immediately. 


Joel speaks of his own struggles with Parkinson's Disease, although barely, as he tells his own childhood stories, often seriously funny, and he includes bible verses at the perfect time. It is a wonderful book. GO GET IT!

Long story really short, on the final plane to Fla. I ended up next to a really nice man named Jude (does this mean something) from Nigeria. We had a conversation that could only be ordered by God about my mission work in Africa and all about his land and people. Thank you, again, to God for getting me through the whole airplane situation.



Anyway, hours and hours later,  landing in Atlanta, or should I say, dropping somewhat violently into  Atlanta, a women who was a constant irritant to my gentle ears-all day long...whining, throwing hissy fits, yelling at workers, carrying on, in an un-Godly way throughout this entire airplane debacle, was summoned by her 9 year old, "Mommy, (he just realized), we are going to miss our baseball game!" he was stricken with worry and realization...his mother answered, loudly, "There's no sense in throwing a fit about it!" Wow, did I want to hold the mirror of the day up to her face. Wonder if it would have done any good. I could have given her Joel's book. I should have.

I missed Aunt Joans' cheese and ham! It was to be served at 6pm sharp. That's what I told AirTran. OK, other people had missed wedding rehearsals, hundred dollar baseball games... but no one, no one but ME, missed Aunt Joan's cheese and ham. They compensated me with a $10 food voucher. 

Later that night (10:30pm) I did sit with my mom, sister and aunt and uncle eating cheese and not one ham but two different hams, Polish and German. (She is polish, as am I), he is German!

Poor Aunt Joan, the tough part, she is now 80 yrs. old and is repeating things. Every 35 seconds (NOT exaggerating) she asked if I needed a drink. The next afternoon was, "Does anyone want a pickle!??"She's just not the same. By the time dinner was over we had a table way too full of various drinks and we were stuffed with baby pickles. Our nerves were a little damaged, but God was teaching us something, I just knew, but knew not what!

Saturday was a curious mix of great fun and great oddness. It started off with a  confrontation with a rather bulgy, good-sized lizard. I was sitting around the hotel pool reading. He ran up to me, looked me straight in the face and challenged me-to what- I don't know. So I threatened him by taking a photo, I actually thought he was going to leap up and bite me. Our lizards here in NC aren't as big and pudgy. No one was around the pool during this situation.  I had a vision of me lying on the ground with lizard bite, bleeding to death. I hope someone would  write that on my blog for me, if I didn't make it!

The rest of the day was spent at the flea market, then around the pool Tiki bar then out to dinner. Let me tell you Pocono Beach in Florida is somewhat depressing and a little scary, at least if you are under the age of 65. My sister and I laughed as we read the ominous signs that lingered around the beaches; "NEED A HIP?" "DENTURES HERE!" "BINGO!" We decided that we could not live there and only visit once in awhile. (Sad thing is that I actually DO NEED a hip right now.)


The indoor flea market event was subject to great chaos having had two- 80 year olds, one 70 yr. old and two middle-aged woman with fibromyalgia. Let me tell you--the geriatric crew blew our socks off. They walked swiftly and quickly as I limped slowly. I couldn't keep up with them! We stopped at The Joke Shop, where my supposedly geriatric mother purchased a horse sized condom for my dad for Father's day. (That's Nanie!) We passed the "Eat a Pickle While You Shop" shop. No thanks, had enough pickles at Aunt Joans' table. We tried on hats. We bought glass figurines for our kids. My Uncle bought a lottery ticket. IT WAS FUN! The visit with Aunt Joan and Uncle Rudy was turning into a huge success. 

Through out the day my thoughts were elevated by Aunt Joan cracking random jokes, Nanie "planking" on random things and thoughts from reading Joel's book. What is my nemesis? We won't go into specifics in my personal like, but for this weekend, it was aging and patience. 

Patience was definitely a virtue this weekend. Uncle Rudy's random German outbursts, hands on hips, "WE'RE LEAVING!" or Hands in the air at dinner, "Everyone NEEDS TWO LOBSTERS!" Aunt Joan forgetting things, "SO, HOW IS EVERYONE DOING?,""SO, HOW IS EVERYONE DOING?,""SO, HOW IS EVERYONE DOING?"....... I especially needed patience for my travel on Friday. God was with me every way, He reminded me when the plane rocked up and down in the air  that He had a plan for my life. He reminded me through others angry behavior to lead my children by example. He reminded me that the pain that riddles my body and the fat that surrounds it is part of what I need to deal with, and I should do it with grace.

We finished the night out, just my sister my mom and I with a healthy conversation about God. I ended up giving my sister my favored book. I will have to finish it next week.

Except for getting up at 3:30am to go home, the travel home on Sunday was so smooth it was like cutting home-made butter with a knife. The landings were soft as a baby's butt. Nothing happened. Did I actually wish for some excitement? I won't go there!

So good to be back at home.

By the way, I remain 8 pounds lighter.