Joy comes in the morning

Joy Comes in the Morning

The back of my eyeballs feel exhaustively tight. It's like someone is pushing on them and relentlessly squeezing them. A simple breath through my nose is like a breath of fresh fire, traveling straight to the right side of  my brain. I hear people. In fact I hear the drumming of fingers like massive gongs against the desk; they echo throughout my body. I hear the footsteps that make me think Sasquatch is coming to take me. I hear the phone vibrate, Why won't someone stop the noise! Every little noise is magnified times ten. In fact, my thoughts are too loud. I want to cry, but that would hurt too much. I want to answer the doctors' many questions, but I'm too confused. If only someone would push hard on the section above my right eye-that would help a little. My Rosacea starts to burn from the wet cold washcloth that's been invading my face for days, however, that's the least of my problems.

I am in the ER. The injections, the nasal sprays, the pills; they didn't work on this migraine. Second visit to ER in one month. They ask me, how do you rate this one, 10 being the worst pain you've ever had. I save the 10 for child birth, but this is a 9, because I feel like I'm going to die. A 7 or below, I stay home and tough it out. An 8 or above gets me a trip to the ER.

This is only a small description of what I go through with these migraines.

The ones that keep me in bed at home are rated a 7 or below. They are the ones that make my husband or my kids darken the room, turn off the phone. Then continue to have all 6 people in the house, plus the dog be as quiet as they can. I lie there for a day or for nine days. I'm never sure which path the migraine will take. I don't sleep. I think they all think I'm sleeping. But with pain that intense, sleep isn't an option. I lie there, in the dark and think, pray and try to clear my brain. Time trickles by slowly. I'm so bored.

My family, however, is so good to me. They tiptoe in and see if I need my washcloth wettened (not a word, but I like it) or my icepack re-iced. They take messages when people call. They do the laundry and clean the kitchen and run the household. I always feel bad. I never wanted to be on of those "sick," moms. Childhood memories of mom in bed. Shoot.

But hey, I'm up now, and momma's back! Everything goes back in it's place, schoolwork gets checked and organized, phone calls get returned and I am enjoying the day...without a headache. 

Don't take your health for granted. It's lovely to hear the birds chirp without it feeling like a nail in your brain. 

So today, I enjoy pain free.

Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning. Psalms 30:5