My Brokenness

http://vimeo.com/51827612#t=4

Steven Furtick

My thyroid therefore my weight is out of control. My health, not good. The ministries I love and lived for have been stripped away from me. My artwork, frozen. My mission work, up in the air. My children, leaving the nest.

I am broken.

What is God revealing to me. 

I am in waiting. 

Still in faith.

The recipe to a happy marriage (celebrating 24 years!)

Jason and Joanna May 20, 1989

 Lots of laughter, especially at the little things. 
Life is tough, laugh instead of cry (when you can!)

 Spontaneity, do things together and hold hands for no reason!

 Be brutally honest and vulnerable with each other. 
Always do things for each other.

Most importantly, let the Lord run your marriage, He comes first.

The Piano I Painted

The Piano I painted.
I was commissioned to paint this for a wedding.
How to: Paint a piano by Joanna Emery (click here to see my YouTube video)

The tuner took the front off so that I could prime it.

I used oil based primer, about 5 coats. I sanded in between each coat.

I draped a sheet over the inside to protect it from the dust.

OOOPS! Unusual for me to spill!

But I turned it into a "happy accident!" It's called, "The Piano."

I used latex for the large painted areas. Acrylic for smaller areas.

I copied the paisley design from the groomsmen ties to a transparency and projected it onto the piano to trace.

I outlined the pattern in Sharpie Paint Pens. Then erased the pencil lines with a kneaded eraser.

I spent a lot of time on my stomach and in odd positions painting the tight spots.

I used gold paint on the top and spindles to dress it up.

I loosely hand drew the building where the groom asked the bride to marry her in London.

I drew wheat in gold pen over the black for a little drama effect.

I protected the piano with brown paper and spray painted the feet with gold paint.

I painted a verse from the song the bride wrote and will surprise the groom with at the wedding!

The finished product!! I welcome your thoughts!

Joy comes in the morning

Joy Comes in the Morning

The back of my eyeballs feel exhaustively tight. It's like someone is pushing on them and relentlessly squeezing them. A simple breath through my nose is like a breath of fresh fire, traveling straight to the right side of  my brain. I hear people. In fact I hear the drumming of fingers like massive gongs against the desk; they echo throughout my body. I hear the footsteps that make me think Sasquatch is coming to take me. I hear the phone vibrate, Why won't someone stop the noise! Every little noise is magnified times ten. In fact, my thoughts are too loud. I want to cry, but that would hurt too much. I want to answer the doctors' many questions, but I'm too confused. If only someone would push hard on the section above my right eye-that would help a little. My Rosacea starts to burn from the wet cold washcloth that's been invading my face for days, however, that's the least of my problems.

I am in the ER. The injections, the nasal sprays, the pills; they didn't work on this migraine. Second visit to ER in one month. They ask me, how do you rate this one, 10 being the worst pain you've ever had. I save the 10 for child birth, but this is a 9, because I feel like I'm going to die. A 7 or below, I stay home and tough it out. An 8 or above gets me a trip to the ER.

This is only a small description of what I go through with these migraines.

The ones that keep me in bed at home are rated a 7 or below. They are the ones that make my husband or my kids darken the room, turn off the phone. Then continue to have all 6 people in the house, plus the dog be as quiet as they can. I lie there for a day or for nine days. I'm never sure which path the migraine will take. I don't sleep. I think they all think I'm sleeping. But with pain that intense, sleep isn't an option. I lie there, in the dark and think, pray and try to clear my brain. Time trickles by slowly. I'm so bored.

My family, however, is so good to me. They tiptoe in and see if I need my washcloth wettened (not a word, but I like it) or my icepack re-iced. They take messages when people call. They do the laundry and clean the kitchen and run the household. I always feel bad. I never wanted to be on of those "sick," moms. Childhood memories of mom in bed. Shoot.

But hey, I'm up now, and momma's back! Everything goes back in it's place, schoolwork gets checked and organized, phone calls get returned and I am enjoying the day...without a headache. 

Don't take your health for granted. It's lovely to hear the birds chirp without it feeling like a nail in your brain. 

So today, I enjoy pain free.

Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning. Psalms 30:5

It matters...in the ER

Relentless vomiting. Knee surgery, momma couldn't walk. Daddy, in Spain.

My daughter was severely dehydrated. Pale, barely responding, miserable, up all night and morning depleting her system of any and all good and bad things. The house was rank with nasty.

The siblings took charge. The oldest bleached, scrubbed and detoxified.

The second oldest kept the laundry running. All at 4:30 am

I sat helplessly by my daughters side as she was continuously ill, my leg not doing what I wanted it to do, crutches nearby.

The early dawn came. Time to go to Urgent Care. I just knew she wasn't right.

Within the first 3 minutes of the nurse walking in the room, she belittled each one of us.

To me, "You should have waken her up and given her her medicine!"

To my oldest: "Your 21 and still live at home?!"

To my sick one: "Who diagnosed your FM, are you sure you have it?"

Wow! It matters what you say!

Let's pretend we weren't all up all night. Let's pretend my daughter wasn't very sick. Let's pretend, just for the sake of it that we were just all horrible people....(I don't think we are:))

Well, we took the high road.

We asked her questions about herself, we were kind to her, even though we each felt burned.

She got nicer. Maybe she realized what she did. Maybe she had problems we didn't know about??

But remember, words can hurt. Your words matter.


Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

http://myfibrolife2012.blogspot.com/2013/02/great-things-are-happening.html?spref=fb

Please support my daughter in her new endeavor to moderate a Fibromyalgia Support group!!
She was chosen because of her awesome blog. I am so proud of her. She suffers with pain and fatigue and not many people realize!

Sincerely,
Joanna

Hoping you will be my Valentine? To Jason

 

Hoping you will be my Valentine?

Will you love me, even though I'm having surgery next week?
Will you tough it out, serve me and comfort me,
And let only me speak...
To let you know and yell to the hills-
That I love you , I adore you, I want you...
But will you pay the bills...
Will you make the bacon, will you fry it in the pan,
Will you watch the kids, train the dog, fix the fence-
And still love me as I am, still be my fan?
Will you let me overspend, forget the dry cleaning and prepare only PB and J for dinner,
Will you hold in the stress of being the only bread-winner?
Will you love all of me, the added body weight, the hot sweats and the aches and pains,
Will you believe that I love you, no matter what, even when I flee for a break on one of the trains....
I will love you even though you love your phone.
I will love you even though I complain and moan...
about the hours you work, the travel you do,
I will adore you because you are you!
You are the man I fell for, head over heels,
We have so much fun together, these days playing Banana Peels!

Will you be my valentine, today and forever more,
Loving you is not a chore...
It's what God led me to do,
I just want you to know, I love you!!

...please!
To my awesome husband, Jason.

Sibelious and deep sorrow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANQWJDr4mAU&list=PLCD759C83226222F1
To listen to his music



Sibelious and Deep Sorrow.

The auditorium was hauntingly silent. Not a cough, not a single solitary movement, only crazy anticipation of the joyful sounds to come. It began with the exotic looking cello player pounding on his instrument to the simple delight of the audience.

Then came the snickering.

One outlandish outburst of laughter, so out of place, so rude. I cringed. It happened again. What was this person thinking?! Was it an ignorant child where only adults should be. It happened behind me, so to turn around and glare would only show bad character. Again; then again! Someone should kick this person out, I've never!

Then came my humble realization, this tortured person was not snickering and misbehaving, this person was sobbing. Long and short jabs of muffled sobs came stubbornly out of this person's being.
I was shocked to realize. I was miffed. I was confused for a moment. Then it became crystal clear to me that the flow of pure honey in the air was so intense that it must have brought out some inner pain and sorrow in this person.

I held it in. For suddenly, I could relate. Not only now did I hold my coughs', my sneezes' and all bodily functions for fear of outrage within the theater, I now held in my flow of tears. The tears I had for my friend who just found out she's deaf, the tears for my personal pain and the tears for my dear friend on life support. It was all just too much.

I immediately knew what to do. I started praying. Praying for for my friends and all that I am thankful for and blessed with. I prayed for the person sobbing. I prayed non-stop for the entirety of the gorgeous concert until it's end.

God comforted me like no other that night.



                     Thank you Jesus.  

My best friend is deaf....

http://oceangraces.blogspot.com

My best friend is deaf.

I didn't see that one coming.

She and I giggle a lot, we talk about life, we praise God, we complain about and try to solve our struggles. Recently we began communicating through texting.  Last time I saw her I had to yell in order for her to hear me speak. I figured she would just get another shot in her eardrum. Or take more Cortisone.

But she went to the doctor, once again. This time the doctor told her she was deaf.

Please read her blog to understand more about Meniere's disease and her friends journey through finding out she's deaf. (Her blog above photo).


 

Meniere’s disease

Hydrops; Endolymphatic hydrops

Meniere's disease is an inner ear disorder that affects balance and hearing.

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

The inner ear contains fluid-filled tubes called semicircular canals, or labyrinths. These canals, along with a nerve in your skull, help interpret your body's position and maintain your balance.
The exact cause of Meniere's disease is unknown. It may occur when the pressure of the fluid in part of the inner ear gets too high.

Symptoms

Attacks or episodes of Meniere's disease often start without warning. They may occur daily, or as rarely as once a year. The severity of each episode can vary.
Meniere's disease usually has four main symptoms:

• Drop in hearing
• Pressure in the ear
• Ringing or roaring in the affected ear
• Vertigo

Severevertigo or dizziness is the symptom that causes the most problems. People who have vertigo feel as though they are spinning or moving, or that the world is spinning around them.

• Severe nausea, vomiting, and sweating often occur.
• Symptoms get worse with sudden movement.
• Often, the person will need to lie down.
• The dizziness and feeling of being off-balance will last from about 20 minutes to a few hours.

Hearing loss may occur. Usually the hearing loss is only in one ear, but it may affect both ears.

• A person's hearing tends to recover between attacks but gets worse over time
• Low frequency hearing is lost first
• Roaring or ringing in the ear (tinnitus), as well as a sense of pressure in the ear are common